Traditionally persons received a handout of safety guidelines upon receiving services at a domestic violence agency. The safety guidelines include information for de-escalating potential incidents of violence as well as information like essential items to take when planning to leave a batterer, such as birth certificates, social security card/s, medications, checking account information, or any necessary assistive devices.

It’s worth noting that in some cases, however, it can be dangerous to give a handout on safety planning tips to an individual you are working with. It could place the victim in danger if their abuser discovers the handout.

Safety planning is as an ongoing, custom made, and continuously evolving process. Plans take into account the persons immediate needs, from entering shelter to learning ways to recognize potentially dangerous situations, as well as their long-term needs, such as securing housing or learning how to complete activities of daily living more independently.

Factors such as a persons financial resources, social supports, current living situation, location of their abuser, and need for assistive devices, medication, or home care are all taken into account when customizing a safety plan.

It is not always possible to immediately leave one’s home. A comprehensive safety plan includes ways to plan leaving with all of a person’s necessary equipment, medication, and documentation without raising the suspicion of the batterer. A comprehensive plan also includes ways to recognize and de-escalate a violent or potentially violent incident. Furthermore, important contacts and supports should be identified in advance, such as friends, neighbors, or family members that could be contacted in an emergency, the local precinct, and the domestic violence liaisons in the person’s precinct.

It can be helpful to develop a code word or action to use with neighbors to signal the person is in danger. For example, one man worked out the following code with his neighbors: when he hit the pipe in his room 3 times, the upstairs neighbors knew to call the police.

Safety plans should also be developed for persons who have chosen not to leave their abuser or who are not yet ready to plan for leaving. Many of the elements of the safety plan are the same in this scenario; for instance, persons should still have emergency contacts with the police, support systems with others, and contact numbers for domestic violence shelters in the event of an emergency. Again, safety plans must be reviewed regularly for revisions and additions as each person’s situation changes.

Identifying contacts such as supportive friends, family, a support group, or a victim advocate that persons can speak with when they are overwhelmed can go a long way in assisting a victim of domestic violence. Victim advocates and domestic violence professionals who are knowledgeable about the dynamics of domestic violence and the local resources in their area can help as persons explore their options.

Lastly, safety planning can still be conducted for persons who are not in abusive relationships are who are now safe from abusive relationships. Domestic violence education is perhaps one of the most powerful tools to help instill safety. Workers in the field of domestic violence and abuse provide education about warning signs of potentially abusive situations and persons, and information on signs of healthy versus unhealthy relationships. This gives people necessary tools to recognize potentially dangerous

For more information about developing a safety plan, please visit the following websites: New York State Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Center Against Domestic Violence

To speak with a person knowledgeable about safety planning and abusive relationships, please call the Barrier Free Living Domestic Violence Hotline between the hours of 9:00am-5:00pm EST at (212) 533-4358.

A safety plan is a list of strategies to protect oneself from harm, and it can be developed prior to an incident of domestic violence. Below is a sample of a well thought-out safety plan.

Domestic Violence Safety Plan
(Everyone has a right to be safe!)

I. Safety During an Explosive Incident

• If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has access to an exit. Avoid the bathroom, kitchen, or any room with weapons.
• Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevator or stairwell would be best.
• Have a packed bag ready and keep it in an undisclosed but accessible place in order to leave quickly.
• Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home.
• Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police
• Use your own instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the abuser what he wants to calm him down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.
• Decide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you do not think you will need to)
• Always remember—you don’t deserve to be hit or threatened!

II. Safety When Preparing to Leave

• Open a savings account in your own name to start to establish or increase your independence. Think of other ways in which you can increase your independence.
• If your batterer frequently calls you on your cell phone, do not change your number (this could lead to your batterer increasing his efforts to locate you). Instead, get a second phone that only your closest friends and family have. Similarly, think about getting a second e-mail address that your batterer does not have access to.
• Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents and extra clothes with someone you trust so you can leave quickly.
• Determine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money.
• Keep the shelter phone numbers close at hand and keep some change or a calling card on you at all times for emergency phone calls. (Remember the NYC 24 hour domestic violence hotline number—1-800-621-HOPE / 1-800-621-4673)
• Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your batterer. Remember: Leaving your batterer is the most dangerous time.

Survivor’s Story

Below is a story about Ms. L, a survivor of domestic violence and former client of the Secret Garden, who was able to utilize the safety plan she developed with her advocate to gain safety from her abuser.

Ms. L was a 58 year old woman with Multiple Sclerosis who reported that her partner of ten years had been emotionally abusive for the duration of their relationship. At the age of 53 Ms. L began using a wheelchair due to the progression of her M.S.

She reported that soon after she began using her wheelchair her partner became physically abusive; the abuse escalated to the point she feared for her life.

When Ms. L first began working with staff at the Secret Garden she was not sure if she wanted to leave her partner because she relied on him for help with daily activities. Her workers informed Ms. L of all of her options for safety, which included getting an order of protection, a home attendant for assistance with activities of daily living, and entering domestic violence shelter.

Ms. L worked together with her advocate to develop a customized safety plan specific to her needs and living situation. Her plan was not written down on a piece of paper, because her batterer routinely searched their home. Instead Ms. L repeated her plan to her advocate several times during their sessions in order to memorize it.

She was able to identify two people that she confides in about her abusive situation; she developed code words to use on the phone with them that signified she was in danger.

Through analyzing past abusive incidents with her advocate, she was able to identify patterns to the abuse and warning signs of abuse that were specific to her partner. This enabled her to identify potentially violent situations before they occurred. She learned to stay close to her front door whenever possible during an argument, and to avoid the kitchen and bathroom due to the multiple hard surfaces in each room that could contribute to a serious physical injury in an argument.

Ms. L was also given a 911 cell phone to keep with her at all times so she could call the police if necessary. In occupational therapy she learned different ways to complete some of her daily tasks so she did not need her batterer’s assistance as frequently.

While Ms. L opted not to leave her abusive relationship, she said the tools she learned while at Secret Garden helped increase her safety. Ms. L stated that she knows what she needs to prepare in advance if she does decide to leave. She also stated that her ability to do more things independently without the assistance of her batterer improved her overall self confidence.

According to the team at our domestic violence counseling program, Secret Garden, the most dangerous time for a domestic violence survivor is when that individual attempts to leave the abusive relationship. The “escape” button’s purpose is to conceal that the survivor has been looking for domestic violence services. The button is simple and quick to use to ensure the upmost safety.

When a person is using a computer/tablet/cell phone to look for resources/services and the abuser approaches they simply click the escape button to be rerouted, and leave no obvious trace. The button will immediately move from BFL’s webpage to weather.com while simultaneously opening an additional tab at google.com. After using the escape button a user will not be able to “go back” by pressing the back arrow.

While this button works great to exit a website quickly it is not yet able to completely erase the visit to the website in the browser history. Instructions on how to delete browser history can be found below.

In Internet Explorer:

Locate the word “Tools” located below the address bar on the left of the screen
Left click on “Tools” and select the option “Delete Browsing History”
In the window that pops up choose the information to be deleted. Make sure that “History” is selected.
Click delete, a progress bar will pop up and disappear when the information had been deleted.
In Firefox:

Locate the word “Tools” at the top right of the window next to “Bookmarks” and “Help”.
Left click on “Tools” and select the option “Clear Recent History”
In the window that pops up select the time range to erase, to be safe erase the history for as long as you have been online or select “Entire History”
Select “Clear Now” and the history will be deleted.
For Barrier Free Living (BFL) ensuring safety of clients is of the utmost importance. What is safety? To BFL safety consists of clients taking necessary measures to ensure that they do not come to harm. Barrier Free Living’s domestic violence programs, Secret Garden and Freedom House, encourage safety planning and education for all clients through case work and social work services. Through these services clients learn techniques to avoid or minimize harm, as well as ways to reach out for help and services.

Within Freedom House, BFL’s Emergency Domestic Violence Shelter, almost fifty percent of the time with clients is spent covering safety.

BFL C.E.O Paul Feuerstein, in collaboration with NYU associate professor of psychology Alisha Ali, created a safety survey. This safety focus was first presented and discussed in the Breaking Barriers newsletter in February 2012 and the survey was released in March 2012, both articles were written by Cynthia Amodeo (BFL Chief Program Officer) and Myra Ricard (Program Director, Freedom House).

The survey presented in March evaluates safety knowledge and proficiency in a total of five safety areas including travel, electronics, financial, location, and relationships. In support of Barrier Free Living’s safety orientation and due to C.E.O Paul Feuerstein’s interest in outcome measurement, safety has since become a program goal for Freedom House and the survey is now used to determine program effectiveness.

In speaking with Ms. Amodeo regarding safety matters she stated that “…safety is a never ending concern in our work and it encompasses almost every aspect of our client’s lives. We strive to give residents knowledge, information and training in safety aspects and the responsibility to use that information then falls with the residents.”

Contributor Gabrielle is a Social Worker (LMSW) at Barrier Free Living’s Secret Garden Non-Residential Domestic Violence Program. Gabrielle began her work at Secret Garden as a social work intern in 2014. After graduating with her Master’s Degree she joined the team. Gabrielle is currently enrolled in the Trauma Studies Program at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy and will soon be certified in the specialized therapy approach outlined in the article below. 

It can be difficult to find a good therapist in New York City. Even if you’re lucky enough to find someone you work well with, there may also be the added barrier of cost; especially if you need or desire a specialized therapy.

One type of specialized therapy that can be used for trauma survivors (like survivors of domestic violence or sexual assault) is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). EMDR is an effective and evidence based therapy.

Barrier Free living’s Secret Garden program has two members who are certified in this therapy. While EMDR can cost anywhere from $150 to $200 a session in out of pocket expenses (if insurance doesn’t cover the therapy or if someone is not insured) Secret Garden is able to offer this service for no cost.

One person who participates in EMDR at Secret Garden described EMDR as sometimes being “emotionally and physically exhausting” but that they always “get a good night’s sleep after participating in EMDR.” This person also described sometimes feeling “very happy in an almost euphoric state” after their EMDR sessions and added that “I really feel like EMDR is helping me to recover from my traumatic experiences more than just talk therapy alone.”

Any survivor of domestic violence who has a disability (a documented or undocumented disability) is eligible for services at Secret Garden. Prospective clients please call our hotline: (212) 533-4358 to schedule an intake session.

The following description is from EMDR Institute Inc.:
“EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences. Repeated studies show that by using EMDR therapy people can experience the benefits of psychotherapy that once took years to make a difference. It is widely assumed that severe emotional pain requires a long time to heal. EMDR therapy shows that the mind can in fact heal from psychological trauma much as the body recovers from physical trauma. When you cut your hand, your body works to close the wound. If a foreign object or repeated injury irritates the wound, it festers and causes pain. Once the block is removed, healing resumes. EMDR therapy demonstrates that a similar sequence of events occurs with mental processes. The brain’s information processing system naturally moves toward mental health. If the system is blocked or imbalanced by the impact of a disturbing event, the emotional wound festers and can cause intense suffering. Once the block is removed, healing resumes. Using the detailed protocols and procedures learned in EMDR therapy training sessions, clinicians help clients activate their natural healing processes.”
See how EMDR works by watching this video.

The conference explored the intersection between disability and elder abuse, with a focus on victimization within the elderly population.

Presenters and panelists discussed recognizing the signs of abuse, how to navigate and facilitate conversations about disabilities within the geriatric population, as well as the importance of caregiver support. Additionally, the conference explored the current misconceptions about elder abuse, what resources (social and legal) are currently in place to help remedy this social issue, and what can be done to address disabilities within the elderly population.

This September, the occupational therapy team at Barrier Free Living’s Secret Garden held a “seeds of hope” creative therapy and wellness group.

Attendees painted containers and potted seeds within them. These “seeds of hope” represent a source of inspiration. The members discussed ways in which they  can strive to grow alongside the plants they created, and how that relates to their aspirations for the future.

The EVAWI conferences  address “attention focused on the many barriers confronting sexual assault victims, and the challenges associated with investigating and prosecuting cases. One critical step in changing this reality is to improve the way victims are interviewed. Better interviews will result in more thorough investigations that improve criminal justice outcomes: Excluding suspects where appropriate, and successfully prosecuting cases where the facts and evidence warrant.”

The conferences are designed to support this transformation. “With an understanding of how the brain responds to trauma, and an appreciation for how trauma affects memory encoding, storage and recall, we now have the potential to become truly “trauma informed” in the interviewing practices.”

Speakers at the St. Louis conference included Christia Currie, MSW, Training and Technical Assistance, You Have Options Program, Carrie Hull, Detective, Ashland PD, OR, Kimberly A. Lonsway, PhD, Director of Research, EVAWI, San Luis Obispo, CA, Russell W. Strand, Advisory Board Member, EVAWI, Special Agent (Ret), Co-Owner, Strand & Heitman Innovative Forensic Techniques (SHIFT) LLC, Rolla, MO, and Christopher Wilson, PsyD, Psychologist, Portland, OR.

Future EVAWI Conferences:

2018: April 3-5, Hilton Chicago, Chicago, IL
2019: April 22-24, Manchester Grand Hyatt, San Diego, CA
2020: April 15-17, Washington Hilton, Washington, DC
2021: April 5-7, Sheraton Boston, Boston, MA
2022: April 19-21, Hilton San Francisco Union Square, San Francisco, CA
2023: April 11-13, Hilton Chicago, Chicago, IL
2024: April 2-4, Marriott Marquis, Atlanta GA
2025: April 22-24, Anaheim Marriott, Anaheim, CA
2026: April 7-9, Sheraton New Orleans, New Orleans, LA
2027: March 30-April 1, Washington Hilton, Washington, DC
2028: April 17-19, Gaylord Rockies, Aurora, CO

The Deaf Justice Coalition announced the launch of a pilot program by the New York City Police Department (NYPD) aimed at improving access to law enforcement services for people who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing (DHH).

“Being able to contact the police if they’re in trouble is something that most people take for granted,” said Deaf Justice Coalition member and Barrier Free Living Secret Garden team member Nicolyn Plummer, who advocates for domestic violence survivors. “Whenever I hear about another person who hasn’t been able to report abuse because the NYPD doesn’t have an ASL interpreter on hand, I’m outraged. The NYPD should be, too.”

Several years of negotiations between the Deaf Justice Coalition, a New York-based coalition of d/Deaf rights advocates, and the NYPD led to the creation of this program in three police precincts in Manhattan, Queens, and Staten Island. The program will require the NYPD to provide in-person, on-site American Sign Language (ASL) interpreters upon request and to equip officers with handheld tablets for video-based ASL interpreting.

New York City is home to more than 200,000 people who are DHH. While police departments around the country have implemented programs to ensure language access for people who are DHH, the NYPD has to date lagged behind, Deaf Justice Coalition advocates report.

“We shouldn’t be treated like second-class citizens—least of all by the NYPD,” said DJC member Chris Tester. “But that’s the reality when we’re left with basically no way to communicate with law enforcement. It’s humiliating.”

Read the full press release here.

The team at BFL Apartments held an Easter egg hunt and threw a party for the children living at the supportive housing facility this month.

Kids enjoyed lunch, games and a thrilling Easter egg hunt. Every child also received an Easter basket chock full of goodies, these donated by Shannon O’Connor a regular supporter of BFL. Shannon also donated easter baskets to the agencies Secret Garden and Freedom House programs.

The interactive presentation aimed to raise awareness related to ACS practices.

The Occupational Therapy team at Barrier Free Living’s Secret Garden domestic violence program kicked off 2017 with a host of weekly empowerment groups for consumers, from Money Matters to Self Care.

The monthly cycle of groups include Creatively Empowered, Money Matters, Beauty and Self Care, and Movement and Fitness.

The groups provide a “safe and open environment for participants to learn steps to improve self-esteem and stress management skills. It allows clients to gain confidence while expressing their feelings and discussing their experiences with a group of peers.”

The Secret Garden offers counseling, support groups & safety planning for survivors of domestic violence with disabilities.