The volunteer-led Butler Street Coop had to close its Brooklyn based playground/pre-school this winter, but the silver lining came in the form of donations to the new Learning Center for kids at Barrier Free Living apartments in the South Bronx.

The Coop donated books, toys and musical instruments to the center. Barrier Free Living apartments offers permanent homes to survivors of domestic violence with disabilities and their families, as well as single individuals.

“We were sorry to hear this wonderful space was closing, but the timing of the donation was perfect as we just opened a new learning center for the kids at our South Bronx location,” says Scott Hess, Director of Communications at Barrier Free Living (photo below picking up the donation).

To learn more about donating, volunteering or supporting Barrier Free Living, click here.

When Bethelihem and her family arrived at Barrier Free Living’s Freedom House domestic violence shelter in 2014, the only thing on her mind was safety.  Not long into her stay, she discovered the power of helping others as part of her own healing journey.  Today, as a senior at  Hunter College of City University of New York (CUNY) pursuing a Sociology degree, Bethelihem decided that she wanted to give back to the shelter that gave so much to her family during their time of crisis. 

BFL:

What drew you to come back and volunteer at Freedom House?

Bethelihem:

I first came to Freedom house in February 2014 with my family. While staying here, we got the chance to talk about our situation with professionals which helped us to manage our emotions and to be hopeful about the future. I spent my time here going to different meetings and participating in several activities such as cooking, mommy & me (group) and potlucks.

I observed how the staff treated us and encouraged us to aim for great things despite what we went through which made me determined to impact other people’s lives. I decided to come back and contribute my part. I wanted to volunteer here because I wanted to be part of the great mission that Freedom House has for women and children.  They are doing a great job with women and children to move on and change their lives.

The other reason I decided to come back is because I used to teach children Amharic (the national language of Ethiopia) so I had experience with them and also I wanted to help children who are in the same situations once I and my siblings were in. I reached out to a staff member about my interest to volunteer this summer.

BFL:

What are some of the accomplishments and challenges you face as a volunteer at Freedom House?

Bethelihem:

I enjoy working with children so I’m having a great time. Some of the accomplishments are I got to meet many children from different backgrounds who are very talented and disciplined. I also get to see how the childcare staff handles different emotional situations of the children and I learned how to provide extraordinary care to them which helps the kids to grow emotionally and connect with their peers. I got the chance to meet parents and discuss ideas with the staff.

BFL:

Is there any particular memory of the experience that really stands out?

Bethelihem:
One time, I was helping a five year old girl with her homework which was so much fun and brought back memories about my experience when my siblings were at the same age. This little girl was interested in getting all the questions right and thoroughly understanding her homework. Her enthusiasm was very refreshing to me because despite her current situation, she was determined to learn.

BFL:
What will you take away from the experience and how might it impact you in your life going forward?

Bethelihem:

This volunteering experience has been teaching me important skills which I get to use every day and will hopefully continue to use in the future. I know Freedom House is doing a fantastic job in providing protection to domestic violence victims and the necessary help to go back to the community.  To be a part of this process makes me very happy.

I’m so grateful to the staff who helped us through our difficult time. Volunteering to help the parents and children gives me a great joy. As a former resident of Freedom House I and my family are a witness of the hard work of the staff who are dedicated to changing people’s lives for the better.

I’m proud of our accomplishments. My sister is going to be attending University of Rochester and my brother, Manhattan College. My youngest sister, who is now a tenth grader, preparing for the SATs and Regents. I want all the residents to know everything will be okay and they will do amazing things in their lives. I also would like to applaud them for fighting the difficult battles and that they made it through to feel they are safe at Freedom house.

BFL:

Can you share about your future plans, and also any hobbies or things you like doing in your spare?

Bethelihem:

I’m currently a senior at Hunter College pursuing a Sociology degree. I will graduate in fall 2018 and hope to work for an organization like Freedom House where I can utilize my academic skills and personal experience to help women and children and impact their lives positively. In my spare time, I like to read books, play with my siblings, cook, write Amharic poems and watch interviews.

I’ve always been a cat person.

When I moved into my lower Manhattan apartment in 1990, my cats came with me. At that time, pets weren’t technically allowed in the building, but the landlord looked the other way as far as cats were concerned.

Some years later, the building was sold and the new landlord changed the policy to allow both dogs and cats. My neighbor across the hall adopted a beagle named Molly from a city shelter. I learned that she was taking Molly through pet therapy training, a concept that intrigued me.

I soon learned from Molly’s owner that pet therapy dogs were different from service dogs, in that they are not serving one person only, the way a guide dog for the blind might. They work with their owners (referred to as handlers in the pet therapy world) to bring comfort and calm to people. I found a definition of pet therapy on a general information site called Healthline:  

Pet therapy is “a guided interaction between a person and a trained animal. It also involves the animal’s handler. The purpose of pet therapy is to help someone recover from or cope with a health problem or mental disorder. “

In reality, the benefits of pet therapy go far beyond that definition.

Pet therapy animals are involved not only with persons with acute health problems or mental disorders, but also with persons who are disabled, have experienced trauma, or are elderly, or are children who may or may not have behavior or learning problems.

For nearly two decades, Barrier Free Living has used pet therapy in its work with both people with disabilities, and survivors of domestic violence with disabilities at its shelters and programs. When Patricia Motus arrived at Barrier Free Living’s Transitional Housing program as the Occupational Therapy Consultant twelve years ago, there was already a therapy dog named Luca who visited once a week with her handler.

Patricia observed the beneficial effect Luca had on the residents with disabilities, and when Luca passed away, Patricia took her dog Nina, a French bulldog, through pet therapy training. Nina then became the pet therapy dog at the BFL transitional housing site downtown.

Motus says pet therapy is “great for everyone, not just the residents but also the staff. Jobs can be stressful and having the calming presence of the dog around can diffuse the stress.”

A resident at Transitional Housing made a pen-and-ink drawing of Nina on a T-shirt to express gratitude for the pet therapy sessions. When I visited Patricia in her office, I saw that the shirt was framed and occupied a central place.

Through Patricia, I connected with Audrey Hendler, founder and driving force behind A Fair Shake for Youth.

Audrey founded the organization in 2010 after teaching with Puppies behind Bars and observing the beneficial effect the pups had on the inmates.  Audrey started A Fair Shake because she recognized that therapy dogs might help youth to build empathy and self-esteem and thereby reduce such problems as bullying. Audrey and her therapy dog Lucy are now one of 35 pet therapy teams currently involved in A Fair Shake.

The organization focuses on middle school youth (ages 11-13), partnering with public schools and community agencies in Manhattan, the South Bronx, Brooklyn, and Queens, primarily in lower-income neighborhoods. A Fair Shake is currently active in ten sites, throughout the city including Barrier Free Living’s Freedom House domestic violence program.

A Fair Shake has a ten-week curriculum, where participants learn to cooperate with each other to teach the dogs such things as going through the obstacle tunnel. The youth learn compassion and respect for each other while interacting with the dogs, notes Audrey. The youth learn to communicate with each other and with the dogs, and strengthen their communication skills and ability to interact in social situations.

At Freedom House, Audrey has modified the curriculum to take into account the fact that the age range of the participants goes beyond 11-13. Any child/youth residing at Freedom House who wants to participate is allowed to do so. This is different from the program in the middle schools, in which the schools may have specific selection criteria for participation. Audrey says the Fair Shake teams working at Freedom House find the work especially rewarding, as they witness the participants, whose lives have been disrupted by domestic violence, learn to communicate with the dogs, the handlers, and with each other.

“The kids (at Freedom House) come to believe in themselves,” says Audrey. “ They learn that they are smart, and they come to realize that they should treat people the way they want people to treat the dogs, with kindness and respect. The kids get a lot out of the interactions and communication with the dogs; they succeed with the dogs and it helps them see that they can succeed in other ways.”

Pet therapy, clearly impactful, is yet another, perhaps less conventional, way that Barrier Free Living serves its residents.

Sara Eldridge, LMSW, a Senior Social Worker at Barrier Free Living’s Freedom House domestic violence shelter offers her insights on Freedom House’s work with male domestic violence survivors. Sara is a licensed social worker who received a Master’s Degree in Social Work from Silberman School of Social Work at Hunter College in 2015.  Sara has been a social worker at Freedom House since 2015, where she provides individual and group counseling to adults, children and adolescents. Prior to Freedom House she worked with youth in alternatives to detention and incarceration programs, student veterans and crime victims.

One in seven men has been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner, according to the CDC, but unfortunately stigma, misconceptions about domestic violence, and a lack of resources can make it difficult for male survivors to receive help.

Barrier Free Living’s Freedom House domestic violence (DV) shelter does not discriminate in providing services to all survivors of violence regardless of gender or sexual orientation. In fact, we are unique in offering male-specific services such as men’s DV groups and male social workers. Freedom House has historically sheltered between one and six male survivors.

Barrier Free Living provides counseling, case management, shelter and housing to people with disabilities, including survivors of domestic violence and homeless individuals. Freedom House is our emergency domestic violence shelter for individuals and families who are seeking temporary safety. Residents can stay at Freedom House for 90-180 days. Freedom House offers a number of accommodations for people with disabilities, including wide hallways and doors for wheelchair users, handrails on the wall for people who are blind or low vision, grab bars in the shower, doorbell modifications for people who are deaf/hard of hearing, and a videophone for people who communicate via sign language.

This month, two Freedom House team members, Program Director Myra Ricard and Social Worker Larry Wilson, presented on the topic of “Serving Male Domestic Violence Survivors in Shelter” at the National Center for Victims of Crime 2017 National Training Institute in Portland, Oregon. (View the PDF of presentation)

They discussed the many similarities men and women face in the types of abuse they experience, the barriers to accessing help, and the impacts, as well as some of the unique challenges faced by male domestic violence survivors. They also advocated for better training for police and other service providers regarding male domestic violence victims and gender-inclusive outreach materials.

Although male survivors may be victimized by their same-sex partners, they can also be abused by female partners, parents, children, roommates, or caregivers. This abuse can take the same forms as that directed against women, including physical, sexual, financial, verbal and emotional abuse.

Men with disabilities may be uniquely victimized by being denied access to healthcare, medication, or assistive equipment by their abuser. For example, an abuser may refuse to take a person with a disability to the doctor, throw away his medicine, or break his wheelchair.

Queer and transgender men may fear being outed without their consent by their abusers or when they seek services. Many men are ashamed to disclose their abuse history because of mistaken assumptions that men cannot be abused or that they should have done more to protect themselves.

Abusers may try to use the system against male victims by taking out false orders of protection or preventing them from seeing their children.

Service providers may refuse to work with men because of assumptions that male survivors are really the abusers. For example, men report being arrested by the police in domestic violence situations even when their female partner was the aggressor.

At Freedom House, to accommodate the unique needs of male survivors we:

• Have male social workers on our team who can be assigned to provide counseling for male survivors.
• Provide male domestic violence support groups

Female residents of Freedom House have been warm and understanding towards the male survivors by welcoming them in domestic violence support groups and celebrating holidays together. The recognition that anyone can be a victim of violence only deepens everyone’s empathy and journey towards healing. Freedom House and Barrier Free Living are proud of our commitment to serving male survivors as we work towards a future without violence.

Visit the National Center for Domestic Violence for more information.

A group of chefs brought food and joy to the tenants at Barrier Free Living (BFL) Apartments in the Bronx, NY last month. BFL Apartments offers permanent homes to survivors of domestic violence with disabilities and their families, as well as to single adults.

We caught up with Zack Pozzoboni, who organized the volunteer driven event, to find out what drew him to Barrier Free Living, and to ask if he would share the crowd favorite Banana pudding recipe.

BFL: What led you to volunteer at BFL Apartments?

Zack: We were looking for a location to cook on Thanksgiving , we met Jeff Fox (Foxy Management) and he told us about BFL. We felt like it would be the perfect place to do the event because we all feel that domestic violence is a very prevalent and important issue in our communities. Even though we are all from different places, we all know someone that has been affected by domestic violence. And it was also important for me personally to do it in the Bronx because I grew up there and I am connected to the community.

BFL: Tell us a bit about the volunteers and chefs involved. How did you all come together for this event?

Zack: When we came up with the idea I reached out to my old high school friend Jeffrey DeJesus, who accepted my offer immediately, even with his busy work schedule. After high school he took to the kitchen life and worked super hard to become a successful cook. He is now sous chef at Nom Wah Tu in Chinatown.

Maria Konder Reis is a chef (even though she likes the term ” cooker ” ) graduated from NGI ( Natural Gourmet Institute ), originally from Brazil, based in NYC for 12 year. She was/is always involved with some kind of voluntary / charity activity and was on board from day one. The other volunteers were my mother who is currently in law school and my sister, who runs a women’s healing arts collective in Brooklyn called Root Mama BK.

BFL: What was the experience like working with the tenants?

Zack:  The experience was very rewarding. We all felt like we were bringing a sense of unity and support for all of them, especially the children. The kids were really happy and the adults were very grateful and that made us truly happy.

BFL: What was a highlight of the day?

Zack: The highlight of the day was when everybody got together (BFL staff / tenants / Community Table NYC), bonding through food made with love and Brazilian music provided by Jeff Fox.

BFL: Are you open to coming back! Plus, our tenants are wondering if you would you share the recipe for the banana pudding? It was a crowd favorite.

Zack: Yes of course we are hoping to be back as soon as we can for another feast. And the banana pudding recipe we got it from online. Here is the link.

For the holiday season, Dan Kimbers and his daughter Elina (pictured) wanted to find a way to spread joy beyond their own family this year.

The Kimbers had heard about Barrier Free Living, and the agency’s programs for survivors of domestic violence with disabilities and their families.  They reached out to BFL and asked if they could create small gift bags, and delivered them this December.

Elina and a few friends created the gift bags, along with hand made cards, hoping to brighten the day of these families.

Barrier Free Living’s New York City based programs provide shelter, counseling and advocacy for survivors of domestic violence with disabilities and their families.

Staff and residents at Barrier Free Living’s Transitional Housing program gathered for a Thanksgiving feast this November.

CEO Paul Feuerstein was on hand to wish the team and residents a safe and happy holiday.

The Church of the Holy Trinity is gathering toys and gifts for the kids at Barrier Free Living’s (BFL) Freedom House emergency shelter in New York City again this year.

The church has a sign up display (photo above, with the Rev. John Beddingfield) and is accepting donations this month.

At its programs and shelters, BFL works with families and hundreds of children each year. Donations of toys and gifts from groups and individuals make a huge impact. If you would like to donate new toys, reach out to info@bflnyc.org

Barrier Free Living held Halloween themed events at its programs, drawing families, kids and staff in community building activities.

At BFL Apartments, the tenant advisory group worked with the occupational therapy team to create a lively party space and spook house for dozens of kids living at the permanent housing complex in the Bronx.

BFL works with survivors of domestic violence with disabilities, and their families as well as homeless individuals with disabilities.